Harry Lockhart (chemikalien) wrote in soixante_trois,
Harry Lockhart
chemikalien
soixante_trois

Star Trek - Valentines

Title Valentines
Author Kiwi
Fandom Star Trek XI
Rating PG
Characters, Pairing The whole crew~
Summary Kirk has the crew celebrate Valentine's Day, reminiscent of those days in grade school.
Warnings CRACK.
Disclaimer This is a work of fiction, and is in no way affiliated with the Star Trek franchise.
A/N Not beta'd. A lot less funny than I hoped it would be. Pfft. taconaco's fault, for drawing this.

Kirk all but skipped onto the bridge, a large pink box clutched to his chest. Chekov and Sulu shot a glance at each other before Chekov piped up, "Keptin? Vhy the box?" Kirk grinned widely and reached into the container, retrieving a crudely cut, heart-shaped piece of card stock.

"It's Valentine's Day, Mister Chekov!" Kirk shouted, with unnecessary enthusiasm. He handed Chekov the card, smiling expectantly. The Russian looked down at the valentine, snorting upon reading it.

"You nawagate right to my heart," he read aloud. "From, the keptin."

Kirk dropped his box of valentines on his chair and clapped encouragingly. Pressing the comm, Kirk made an announcement, "This is the Captain speaking. As you all should be aware, back home it's Valentine's day. Since we're in deep space en route to Starbase 102, I think we can all take some time to celebrate. In front of all of your quarters I have placed boxes. The crew will make valentines for their fellow shipmates and place them in those boxes for their enjoyment. That is all."

"Captain," Uhura said, turning around in her chair, "since when do we celebrate Terran holidays like children?" Kirk turned around and glared.

"Keep up that attitude," he said after a pause, "and you won't get any valentines." Uhura turned to Spock, who looked more perplexed than she did.

A few hours later, after Kirk had given permission for his bridge crew to go make valentines in shifts, the entire crew was stuffing cards in the provided boxes, giggling like grade-school children. Kirk sat in the captain's chair, surveying the bridge as they went through their valentines at their seats. Heart-shaped paper littered the consoles, pink and red confetti strewn about the floor. Kirk reached into his box and pulled out a small rectangle, with an extremely detailed sketch of a human heart drawn over the front. "In celebration of the day of the Terran Saint Valentine, I present to you this card. -Spock." He tries, Kirk thought, putting it back in the box and pulling out another stack of pink cards.

"Planets are red, novas are blue. Cupid is Russian, Happy Valentine's to you," Sulu read, before blushing and turning to Chekov, who smiled and looked away. There was much giggling, which ceased when McCoy stomped onto the bridge.

"Jim, what the hell are you doing?" he hissed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Bones! Hold on, I have one for you here," Kirk said, rummaging through his valentines to locate the right one. Producing a red card, he handed it to the doctor, who incredulously ripped the card out of Kirk's hand.

"Do you have any cordrazine? Because you make my heart stop," McCoy read. "Jim, what the hell does that even mean?" Kirk only grinned, popping a replicated chocolate heart into his mouth.

Down in Engineering, Keenser tugged on Scotty's pant leg. "What is it, ya incessant git?" Keenser held up a roughly-cut heart-shaped piece of paper. Opening it, Scotty read, "Beam me up, cause I've fallen for you!" Laughing, he pulled his little friend into a hug and offered him a shot of scotch.

-

yeah, what the hell. XD I'll go back to writing angst now, this crack stuff doesn't suit me.
Tags: fandom: star trek xi, genre: crack
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